photo by manyfires
Whilst scarfing down dinner after our movie, a friend I was sitting with casually remarked, referring to a couple walking by us, how cute guys end up with ugly women. While I have been guilty of making said-remark [or well, hot girl with a old, ugly guy], I was mildly taken aback and I felt I needed to defend her.
I'm no model material, and no matter whom I'm dating or end up with, and I'd be furious and hurt all at the same time if I had overheard someone passing a judgment like that.
Again, I have to emphasise that I have been guilty of making passing judgments like that, and I actually feel the need to stop thinking that way. Years ago, when I was in school, my lecturer taught me about feminism, what women have and had to put up with, how patriarchy controlled our universe, and how oppressed women are without even knowing it.
Funny thing is, while patriarchy still exists, more than anything, I think women oppress other women more than men do. It's terrible - the bitching, the backstabbing, the whole slew of negativity that probably stems from self-esteem, jealousy and anger issues and inflicted upon an innocent person. Sometimes, we don't even know we're doing it.
One of my favourite cousins [and that's a huge compliment, because I hate most of my extended family] is getting hitched, and our aunt texted her to find out her fiance's age - because according to her, "local women usually get married to ang moh men who are middle aged or old".
I mean, seriously, up yours. Granted, there are tons of third world skanks parading around with balls-to-their-knees 70-year-old white men, but if you'd like to insinuate that someone is an SPG [Sarong Party Girl], have the balls to come out say it. And why would that come to mind anyway?! Can't you be happy for someone else instead the subtle bitchiness?! Send a congratulatory text, for God's sake!
There's so much hate in the world; people need to be nicer to each other. Of course, the Internet doesn't help. Girls hide behind a curtain of anonymity to hurl insults at other girls on the internet, and it's just disgusting. If you don't have anything nice to say, why don't you just shut up about it? Why is that so hard? Are you that bitter about your life that you have to try and make someone feel bad about theirs? Why so much hate?
Life is ruthless enough already - quit the hatin'.
Of course, women oppressing women is nothing new. The hijab, for example, is another cultural tradition actively insisted upon by women. Muslim women want to wear the veil and any denial of this simple fact trivializes them and their choices. Thus it is that the chauvinistic, western, feminist crusade - always quick to condemn the Christian crusades of the white patriarchy - insults and interferes with cultures of which it knows nothing and to which it does not belong.
Women need to stop being bitches, dammit. Stop the hate, channel the jealousy into something more positive, stop passing hurtful judgments on other women, or people, whether or not they're capable or incapable of defending themselves. The hate's gotta stop, girls, and hopefully, it starts with you. :o)