10 Stupid Things People Do on Social Media

Originally published on Yahoo! Weekend - this is my original draft

I love social media, much more so now that it's making up a lot of my income. Social media is named aptly so because it’s a tool to be social. Unfortunately, there are many amongst us who do the most inane things on Facebook and Twitter that makes you roll your eyes, drop your jaw and sometimes is downright pathetic.

1. People who think their every movement should be announced. We know you’re bored whilst sitting on the toilet. But maybe, instead of tweeting about your bowel movements today as you always do, maybe you should read about what’s happening in the world on Yahoo! News for a change. Likewise, we don’t need to know how much milk your “hardworking boobs” lactated for your newborn. True story.

2. People who change their relationship statuses every other week. Make up your mind – are you single? Are you in a relationship? Is it complicated? It’s not too hard.

3. Set Up Facebook accounts for your 2-year-old kid, or worse, your dog. We’d like to see the day your dog gets trained to log on to his own Facebook account.

4. Woe is me statuses. You know those people – ‘my life sucks because my daddy doesn’t want to get me a yacht for my birthday’ or ‘this is the worse day of my life because my husband cancelled on dinner because he had to work to support my extravagant lifestyle. Suck it up and stop.

5. Foursquare. Trust us – we don’t care which Starbucks you’re a mayor of or which public restroom you’ve checked in to. Die Foursquare, die.

6. Adding People You Don’t Know We’re not sure what it is – to up your ‘friends’ numbers or to seem like you’re friends with the cool kids. When you add somebody, a pop up screen comes on telling you that you should "only send this request if you know him or her personally." How do people miss this disclaimer?

7. Write on a Facebook Wall instead of communicating privately The driving force behind the success of Facebook is... vanity. People love the idea that others are watching what they're doing. We don’t need to know what names you call your boyfriend and what you’re planning to do to him tonight.

8. Tagging drunken pictures of your friends Yes, it’s funny. But chances are, his mother and his grandmother are also on Facebook. You don’t want to go out for a big one on a weeknight, have to call in sick for work the day after only to have your boss tell you that he’s already seen photos of you sh*tfaced crawling in the gutter on Facebook. If you don’t want that to happen to you, don’t do it to your friends.

9. Children on Facebook Facebook bans 20,000 kids from their site everyday, and we’re glad this is done. Parents need to be more diligent with policing their children on social media, and they should be educated on social media etiquette in school. Sexual predators are nothing to joke about.

10. Animal Farms I have a job, I don’t want to feed sheeps on the computer. You need to get off your computer and get a life.