I'VE GOT GLOSS ON MY LIPS, MY HOT MAN ON MY HIPS & A TOE IN SMITHEREENS

It's official. My toe is busted. Three days after I got the x-ray done, the clinic I go to rings me and tells me I've got a fractured toe - which effectively means I've walked around with a wonky toe for a week. Useless fuckers better have a good PR team at hand.

So now, I have a two-week medical leave which is technically useless to me, toes in a buddy splint and my very own pity party. ASOS vouchers, bottles of Nutella and meals in bed will make me feel much better, in case you were wondering. :o)