After slightly more than a year of busting my ass on Ritual's floor, I realised now that it has ruined me. It comes to you gradually, of course, but you never figure it out until suddenly, you feel like you've been sucker punched, and you don't actually mind it.

Here's how Ritual ruined me:

º I never want to work out more than twenty minutes - I am a very impatient person to begin with. I walk fast, I do things fast and I detest waiting around for shit to happen. That's also one of the reasons why I enjoy writing for the internet - I never have to wait around for print checks and to spot widows and orphans. Plonk it in, have the sub ed look through it, and you're set.

But I digress. I found myself trying out a class at a new fitness studio in the name of work recently. The obnoxious asshole that I am turned up for the media session wearing a Ritual tshirt, of course. The class was AN HOUR LONG. An hour. It felt like I could've died, been resurrected and the class STILL wouldn't have been over. And to top it all off, I didn't feel like I've worked out much for that hour as much as I would've 20 mins on the Ritual floor. I'm usually crying for my mother when my Ritual session is done.

º When some scrawny dude tells me I should stop lifting heavy because my arms will bulk up:

First I'll be like:


Then, I'd go:


º I'll never ever enter any other bathroom in a gym or fitness studio and go, "Oh, this is nice!". - Seriously. Ritual has the best showers a gym has to offer. I don't have to come face-to-face with another woman's coochie crack on display (like I had to this afternoon when I was at yoga) because there's a changing room in each shower stall. On top of that, a rain shower. A rain shower that actually has enough pressure to feel like rain. And to top it all off, they have good hairdryers - not half assed tiny ones that are made to dry, like, pubic hair or something.

º What I say to Virgin gym sales people who stop me as I'm walking to Ritual from the MRT:


I really do. I tried going on the treadmill at the gym while we were in San Fran and gave up, and did Ritual's travel program instead.

º I get used to not wearing shoes all the time - I really enjoy being barefoot and one of the things I love about working out at Ritual is that you don't need shoes. I am most comfortable without shoes on, so you'll see me working in the office without my shoes, barefoot at home, and I'll take any opportunity to take off my shoes. Sometimes I forget that other gyms make you wear shoes and that you actually have to bring clothes to work out. Such inhumane practices. ;o)

º I quote my trainers, and what Ritual has taught me on the regular so much that of telling people to Google something, I'd look it up, and then tell them I'll get back to them after I check with the guys at Ritual. That, or if they're members I'll send them to the right people. Everybody is invested in making your fitness experience a part of your lifestyle, and every ache, query or concerned is taken seriously and addressed. 

Let's face it - it's time you succumbed to Ritual and get a trial, if you haven't already. Just listen to me, you won't be sorry when Ritual ruins you as it has done to me. Be brave, bitchez.